I do?
by homestarrungirl
Summary: Next chapter now up!
1. The proposal

I do.. not!

You all wondered what it would be like if H*R jumped the shark. Don't play dumb with me. 

(marshmallow's last stand. Homestar and Marzipan are sitting at their usual booth, both dressed up for the 8th anniversay of their on-again off-again relationship. Homestar is nervous, Marzi dosent notice)

Marzipan: My almond-encrusted chilean sea marshmallow was fantastic! How was your  pizza?

Homestar: um....... uh, eh..... Fiwne. Let's go owtside.

Marzipan: Alright. Are you okay, Homestar?

Homestar: (thinking) okay, homestaw, you gawt this. (both walk outside)

Marzipan: Homestar? (slaps him with her nonexistent hand) Talk to me!

Homestar: (stuttering, gets down on one knee) Mawzipan-, some folks say im a tewiffic athlete. Would you fowlks say im a tewwific boyfwend? 

Marzipan: Yes, of course. What's going on here?

Homestar: (pulls out a very expensive ring) My beautiful Mawzipan, will you mawwy me? We've been dating fowr a wong time, so i thought-, you know...

Marzipan: OH MY GOD.

Homestar: Mawzipan?

Marzipan: YES! Yes! (thinking- am I sure? oh, what the heck. he can't screw it up THAT bad) (Marzi picks up the ring and slides it onto an invisible finger, admiring it)

Homestar: Phew. I thought that was gonna be WAY wowse..... Mawzipan... Who are we gonna tewll? I was thinking Stwong Ba- (homestar does not have enough time to finish this, however, as Marzi begins plastering him with kisses, and both dissapear into a nearby bush, many soudns emerging)

Read on!


	2. Lots to think about

I DO NOT OWN , not even anything from the store.

The next morning:

Homestar and Marzipan are cuddled on homestar's new king-sized bed, ($20, bub's concession stand) marzi (yeah i call her marzi. what are you gonna do about it? :P) Is wearing her favorite nighttime lingerie ($75, victoria's secret), Homestar is wearing his keyboard t-shirt, ($3, some type of online auction), and both were happily silent.

Marzipan: Wow, we've never done THAT before... Ahh.... Geuss I can ditch this purity ring. Never wanted it anyway.

Homestar: That's nice. Wait... Wownt thowse nuwns kiwll you?

Marzipan: No they won't. I just went to church 'cuz Tapioca (if anyone else used that name, i sincerely apologize.) made me... Mom liked it too. (beuries herself deep into homestar's chest)

Homestar: I love you mawzipan.

Marzipan: That's nice homestar....

Homestar: You thinking what I'm thinkng?

Marzipan: Yup. (winks)

30 miunites of kissing later

Marzipan: (giggling) Homestar.. (te he!) Ive GOTTA take a shower, okay?

Homestar: Weally?

Marzipan: Yes, really.

Homestar: Okay.........

Marzipan walks past homestar, brushing her hair against his cheek. She grabbed a fluffy towel ($25, bed, bath, abd beyond) and stepped into a piping hot shower. She had a lot to think about.

Marzipan: (Thinking) Well, getting married to homestar runner.. Never thought that would happen... Wait.. IM MARRYING HOMESTAR RUNNER. This has to be a dream.... No way this is going to happen. (She then looked down at her invisible hand, seeing a ring on it, and gawking in amazement) Wow. He must really love me, i geuss. Gotta go call mom and Tapioca....

Homestar: (thinking) Well, i'm marrying mawzipan. The owlny guwl.... (homestar rummaged through the 'Homestar Runner Achive To Aleve Foundation', now filled with his shirts and lone pair of daisy dukes, looking for something to wear) Geuss i gotta tell somebody... Bubs? Pom Pom? Stwong Bad? Yeah, Stwong Bad.

(Marzipan and Homestar are walking through the field, hand in nonexistant hand, headed twoards Bub's Conses5ion Stand)

Bubs: Shining up a chicken in the morning, morning....... (sees marzipan and drops the chicken)

Marzipan: Hiya bubs!

Homestar: Hi!

Bubs: Hello everypeople! What can I get you on this fine day?

Marzipan: Well, we need a party planner.

Bubs: (eyes light up at the thought of money) Sure! What Kinda Party?

Marzipan: well, you got anything for an enagagement party?

Bubs: WHAT is that malarkey? This a prank?

Marzipan: Nope. (Shows him the ring)

Bubs: (whistles) Wow.


	3. Pwaty Time!

Marzipan: So, engagement party?

Bubs: Yeah, that.. (pulls out pamplet entitled: 'Throwing a party fot idiots') How 'bout this?

Marzipan: Looks great!

3 hours of reading later

Marzipan: Thanks bubs! Let's go homestar! Homestar?

Homestar: ZZZzzzzZZZZ. Oh! Time to go alweady? That was sooooo exiting. (rolls his eyes) Lets go.

(Club technochocolate- everyone is gathered on the dance floor, partying away, exept coach Z, who was at the bar, and Strong sad, who was 'Busting Some Fresh Not Dancing' on the side)

Strong Bad: Dumbstar can throw one heck of a party, eh the cheat?

The cheat: meh meh meh.

Strong Mad: I LIKE PARTY!

Strong Bad: Good job, biggest bro. Why are we all here, anyway?

Homsar: DaaaAAAAAaaaaah, IiiiIIIIiiii take the tasteball for banannatime!

Strong bad: Who invited this, uh, guy?

(Deborah, marzipan's cousin, and Alli's sister, walks in. She bears an uncanny resemblance to 'teenage marzipan', except that her dress-body is bright red, she had long, curly, brown hair, arms, and super-high red pumps)

Deborah: Hi, are you strong bad?

Strong bad: Uh yeah, wh- WHOA.

Deborah: Hi!

Strong bad: Dahdahdah.... (the cheat slaps him) OH,yeah. Totally, yeah. yeah.

Deborah: (sees the cheat) Ooh! Is that the cheat? He's so cute! (scoops him up and the cheat makes happy the cheat sounds) So....

Strong bad: So...

Deborah: Remember me?

Strong bad: Yeah. Why wouldn't I?

Deborah: Where's Homestar? I wanna see my cousin's new fiance!

Strong Bad: WHAT?

Deborah: Oops! geuss you didn't know. Didn't you wonder what this whole party is for?

Strong Bad: Yeah, but-

Deborah: Oh, what am I saying? I hate my hippie cousin. Hard to believe we're related. Let's dance! (grabs strong bad's hand)

Strong Bad: Fine with me! (they dance for about an hour)

Deborah: I'm soooo tired! Let's sit down.

Strong bad: Okay. Great club, huh?

Deborah: Yeah, we don't have anything like this in minnesota.

Strong Bad: Well, even Minnawhatever would be better than this place with Dumbstar here.

Deborah: We could go there, if you want. I think the jet's still outside.. Maybe vegas would be better..

Strong bad: Jet?!? Make out with me girl, right now. (deborah slaps him)

Deborah: No. Well, not RIGHT now. I'm like, 3 feet away from you! (winks) Let's get to the jet first, though.

Strong Bad: Alright!

(SB and Deborah run outside to the jet and look around inside)

Strong Bad: A hot tub, bar, bedroom, and bowling alley? This thing rocks!

Deborah: What you wanna do?

Strong Bad: Is it obvious or not?

Deborah: Hot tub it is!

(SB and Deborah enjoy a whirlwind romance and wedding in Vegas, But then divorce and remarry eachother after Deborah sees SB staring at the dancers at the Vegas clubs all in the same day, and fly back to FCUSA)

(Back at Club Technochocolate, Marzi and Homestar walk onto the stage near the turntables, Homestar holing a megaphone)

Marzipan: (speaking into megaphone) HELLO EVERYONE! KOT, PAY ATTENTION!

KOT: I don't do noothing! (hides behind the all you can eat buffet)

Marzipan: WE HAVE A VERY IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT (everyone looks up) AS YOU KNOW, HOMESTAR AND I HAVE BEEN DATING FOR A LONG TIME, AND HOMESTAR PROPOSED TWO DAYS AGO. (cheers) THIS PARTY IS TO CELEBRATE OUT ENGAGEMENT!

All: Yay!! (Mrs. Marzipan and her latest Husband run up to congratulate their daughter along with the other FCUSA residents exept Deborah and strong bad, who decied to Make out instead)


	4. Congrats!

Mrs. Marzipan: Oh, Marzipan, This is so exciting! We have so much to do!

Tapioca: (marzipan's little sister, about 4 and looks just like preshy. If you don't know who preshy is, youtube 'Why Come Only One Girl?') Marzy! Youre soooooo lucky! can I be a flower girl? Pleeeeeeeease?

Marzipan: Sure, tappy.

Tapioca: Yaaaaay! (sees strong mad and the cheat) Maddy! Squeaky! Yaaaaaaaay! (bolts across the dance floor) 

Strong Mad: PUDDING GIRLY!

The Cheat: Meh!!

Strong Mad: HOWS LIFE?

Tapioca: Great! (gives Strong Mad a big hug. or, as big a hug as a 4-year-old can give. It looked like an and hugging an elephant)

Strong Mad: YOU HAPPY TODAY!

Tapioca: Yeah! Marzy says I can be a flower girl!!

Strong mad: FLOWER LADY!

Tapioca: Good try!

(Strong mad may be a big lug, but he had a specialplace in his heart for 2 people, The Cheat, and Tapioca, who he almost considered a daughter, since her mother remarried so much and she had no real dad.)

(Coach Z was sitting at the bar, currently tended by Bubs, sadly observing the happy scene before him)

Coach Z: Ah, Marzipan.... My little baseball bat in a dress....

Bubs: Coach Z! You gotta snap out of this whole Marzi-Thang obsession. You're a creepy middle-aged guy who lives in a locka room, and she's, well, too good for you. Marzipan's all grown up now. You gotta let go.

Coach Z: I geuss... Hey, do you think her mom...

Bubs: No. This makes me wonder why we hang out at all.

Coach Z: You know you love me likr a brudder. (bubs makes a fist) Hate me like a brother too! Well, I gotta go.

Bubs: Where?

Coach z: None of your biusness! 

Bubs: You gonna go try and score with her mom, aren't you?

Coach z: Yeah.........


	5. Writer's Block not really a chapter

Geusss Whaaaaaaaaaaat??

I have some SERIOUS writer's block, so i'm asking YOU to come up with some ideas for my story. Write them on the reviews thingy, and If i like them, I will put them in the next chapter and credit you! Here is the basic formula that i want you to use for suggestions:

SB and Deborah: _____idea_____

H*R and Marzi: _____idea_____

Mrs. Marzipan and coach Z: _____idea_____

SM and Tapioca: _____idea_____

The cheat: _____idea_____

Bubs: _____idea_____

KOT: _____idea____

Other characters: _______idea______

you get the idea. I only ask that you NOT name a new character (if you have an idea for one, that's great, but please just say 'new __idea__', you will be credited if i use it, but i don't want to screw up a pre-develolped character. Thanx!!!

~homestarrungirl


	6. LAST party chapter, I promise!

Well, my writer's block is gone, but NO ONE reviewed!

*Pictures of marzi & her family

file:///Users/Sam/Desktop/preshy+ (tapioca [preshy] is the pink one)

sorry, no deborah :( *

Coach Z made his way across the multicolored dance floor, Approaching

Marzipan's mother. Despite being the same age as Coach Z, she was in much better shape, and decidedly more attractive. Her modest dress was light pink, very flattering on her tan, black-haired figure, and she had visible legs. Though she wasn't as much of an animal activist as her daughter, she was vegan and very independent. She was a bit of a player though, and was eying Coach Z today.

Mrs. Pan: Hi Coach Z! You're looking nice today... (her eyes caressed Coach Z's weirdly-shaped body)

Coach Z: Hellort Mrs. Pan! You're even more attractive than Marzy! Uh, i mean, er....

Mrs. Pan: (giggles) Oh, you're so nice!

Coach Z: Oh, really?

Mrs. Pan: Yes.. Of couse! And call me Alice, Zeezy.

Coach Z: Thornx! Ort, I see you horve an empty mortorni. Allort me to get you another. (crap, cz's accent is hard to copy!)

Alice: Thank you!

Coach Z and Alice walk to the bar, now tended by ro-bubs (in SBCG4AP) and buy drinks. For coach Z, a couple Old Ones, and for Alice, several frou-frou girly drinks. They drank and talked for a little while, until they weren't exactly drunk, but loosened up a bit.

Coach Z: (holding alice's hand, still at the bar) I just wanted to tell you what a beautiful person you are, Allie.

Alice: OOooooh, zeezy! Wheeeeeee! (kisses him on the cheek)

Coach Z: Oh, Allie! Yourt a bord, bord, gurly!

Alice: Let's see how bad I can be.... (traces her finger around Z's face and neck)

Coach Z: Alrout, you orsked for it! Wornna go to my place?

Alice: Ooh! I like that. I liiiike that!

Coach Z: Who-hoo!

(who knows where they went?)

(back in on marzi and homestar, still surrounded by friends and family)

Marzipan: (incredibly bored and tired) What time is it?

Homestar: Uh, 3 a.m?

Marzipan: No way. How it everyone still awake?

Homestar: Gurwls and the bar.

Marzipan: Ahhh... I see. Wait- what girls?

Homestar: Wewwl... Coach Z went off with youwr mom,

Marzipan: Well, she'll be fine. She can handle herself pretty well with men.

Homestar: Eh-hem.

Marzipan: Sorry.

Homestar: Stwong Bad's at some hotel with Debwoah. ( marzian rolls her eyes in an 'im not suprised' way. ) and Stwong Mad took Tappy to his howse 'cus she was weeeealy tired. He weally likes her.

Marzipan: Yeah, he does. S-M may not be the smartest guy, but Tappy's got a special place in his heart. He won't let ANYTHING happen to her. Ever.

(Strong Mad actually had set up his own bed with little pink sheets and Pooddonkus just for her, and he sat awake all night.)

Marzipan: Take me home, homestar. (she reached her invisible arms up and batted her eyelashes)

Homestar: Ok, Mawzipan. (homestar picks her up with HIS invisible arms and carried her home)


	7. Seriously

(Extremely Fancy Dress Shoppe, Big City USA. As Marzi tries on the modest, yet beautiful white dresses, along with her hair done up the way it was at her senior prom, with the diamond tiara her mother gave her as a present. Meanwhile, Deborah was using evey fiber of her being to find a bright, sexy dress across the street. No reason she shouldnt look better than her cousin..)

Alice: Oh, Marzipan! You look  so beautiful! Please buy this one.

Daisy: Oh, Marzy! You look like a princess!

Marzipan: Im not so sure about that.. (turns around to face the mirror behind her) Oh. My. God. (the beautiful figure before her was not marzipan. it was a princess, gently draped with sparkling, material that flowed as if it were water. for once, marzipan was going to allow her mom to buy her something.) I want this one!

(Alice smiles, knowing that she had this dress specially created for marzipan, but marzipan didnt know.)

It was only three weeks later that marzi found herself in her backyard, doing some last minute tasks before the work crew came to transform it into an outdoor chapel, and what an amazing job they did. The white picket fences were removed and replaces with cherry trees in full bloom. The gazebo was a shining palace of white, sprinkled with flowers. A red carpet was laid, and white chairs were set up for her special geusts.  And of course, a full caterd buffet and dance floor.(in case you havent geusses by now, marzipan is LOADED)

(Strong bad's computer room. SB sits alone, about to answer another fan email)

Strong Bad: Eeeeeemaiiiiiil! Its awesome! Im awesome! Dear Stong Bad, I heard youre married now! Wow, man. Tied down forever. That sucks. Sincerily, Jacob from Washington. Whathe-jiggda-huhwhy-dasfhla! 

(strong bad explodes out of his house, running as fast as he possibly could to the Gremlin, wich had actually been fixed to run and go places. He raced to debroah's apartment in Big City, USA. He bursts into her apartmet, where she had just finished trying on her new dress, and would put every skimpily dressed model to shame.)

Debroah: (seductively) Why helllllo handsome. It sure is cold in here... Wanna heat things up?(begins to peel off her dress right there) 

Strong Bad: (grabs her hands) No! I cant! I dont wanna be tied down! Jacob was right!

Deborah: But baddy, we've done this before! You know how to  get it on. (pries her hands away and starts to resume peeling)

Strong Bad: No. I dont want you pregnant, i cant commit to that! (she stops)

Deborah: What? You  dont love me anymore?

Strong Bad: That (points to a half-naked deborah) is not what I want to love. If I ever had to be serious about something, it would be now and this. Youre not the girl I thought you were. When we meet next, it will be as strangers. (walks out of her apartment)

(Strong Bad and strong sad are in the gym, punching the crap out of a bunching bad and trying to do jumping jacks, repectively. They both sit down)

Strong Sad: That was really hard, I think. Ditching your girl like that.

Strong Bad: If today was a normal day, you would be unconcious. But im feeling weird today, so ill share my feelings with you. She forgot what a good thing we had going.... And she turned into, well, a- just forget it.

Strong Sad: She was afraid of loosing you. She talked to me and marzipan earlier.

Strong Bad: Really? Well, she wanted something that i couldnt give her.

Strong Sad: Oh, yeah. Well, I have to go. Homsar and I have a Jenga Jam.

(Strong Bad goes back to his punching bag)

Manager Guy: Mr. Bad, I belive that you have destroyed that punching bag. Shall I get you another?

SB: No thanks, ive gotta go.

(Strong bad went into his room to drown his sorrows in videogames, but found a small piece of paper taped to the TV, with strong sad's unmistakeable penmanship.

It read:

It eludes the most determined hunter

The bird of love shines with its own light, bringing happieness to all who touch it

The hunter wants for himself and wants to kill this birld, for it had not brought life to him

For a fleeting moment the bird touches him

The trigger is pulled, and as the bird dies, the hunter fades

He becomes the grass

Another bird eats a worm from this grass, and begins to glow

The bird still shines with radiance

It has befrended the children of the hunter

Now they have a second chance.

(below the poem is a beautiful picture of a multicolored hummingbird with an arrow through her chest, and as he finished reading it, strong bad shed a single tear on the paper)

But as everyone knows, all that is good must come to an end. Read the next chapter!


End file.
